Divalicious Queen
by Ethereal Altair
Summary: Riku is now back to school. Unfortunately he's having problems of his own, which is being a young dad, a cook and a student. Oh, and Diva just applied a job at their school. Wait, WHAT? Oh hell, poor little Chevalier isn't going to get any privacy, now is he?
1. Little Knight and the Seductive Queen

Ever since Riku came back to school all the male students have been treating him differently.

A lot of times, the students would stalk him everytime he entered and departed from school. Often they saw him being accompanied by this gorgeous blue-eyed woman who picks him up every day.

The famous singer named Diva, coming too school everyday to pick up Riku, who was dubbed Mr. Fun Size.

Everyday they would ask questions about how is Diva related to him, which he responds by running away. Everyday, he spends his break time in the deepest corners of the library where only the biggest of nerds dared to venture. For him it was safe haven.

Unfortunately it all went to hell when Diva applied as an assistant librarian for one month.

* * *

><p><strong>Week 1–1 12:02 P.M: Hell on School Begins<strong>

"Students," the librarian called. "Meet our temporary assistant librarian, Miss Diva Otonashi," she introduced the figure before her, which was the long-haired, blue-eyed queen we all know and love. She was wearing the same outfit she did during the assault on the Red Shield Base. The students were instantly heads over heels for her though her attention was mostly towards Riku, who was in the corner reading a cookbook of some sort.

His eyes snapped wide open upon hearing the name. He dunked his head into the pages of his book on realization. He sobbed softly and whispered to himself. "This is going to be a long month. Oh well, at least I won't get bullied."

Diva finished introducing herself to the students and headed towards Riku's location. "Hello there my dear." she said softly with her trademark seductive voice. Dammit, Kari Wahlgren and your sexy voice!

_"__My dear?" _the students spying thought to themselves.

"Diva why did you apply as an assistant librarian?" asked Riku.

"My big sister Saya told me to look after you after finding out that you were being bullied by the other students. So I did the next best thing, get a job here." Diva ran his fingers down her lover's back, his face turning deep crimson from the feeling.

"Please stop it Diva. You do know that everyone is staring at us." said Riku with eyes narrowed towards the three students peeking on the back of a bookshelf. He grabbed his book and headed to the counter. "Um, Diva I'd like to borrow this book."

"Sure thing dear. Feel free to return it to me at home." Diva cooed in her lover's ear, prompting him to run the hell away out of embarassment.

"Gah! Stop it Diva! Aaaauuugh!"

"Oh he is so adorable." sighed Diva.

And so began Riku's one-month hell on Earth.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **This is merely the intro, so it's understandably short. I've been waiting for this ever since my Destiny Destroyed fanfic, and I plan to make it a shorty series based from the Destiny Destroyed AU. Expect a lot of Divalicious moments at later chapters!

Read and review on your free will.


	2. PE (Physical Execution) Part 1

Riku absolutely despised P.E class.

To him, it became the equivalent of being sent to hell and tossed back to Earth, only several times worse. Even though he is now a Chevalier, his physical structure hasn't changed in the slightest, making him the same fragile boy he was 5 years ago.

The thing is, he was a very good student who got high grades on almost every subject in his class. ESPECIALLY Culinary class.

This one is the contrast of those grades. And today was another day of hell for the poor little Chevalier.

* * *

><p><strong>Week 1–2 3:31 P.M: The Gym Hall<strong>

_Pweeeeep!_

The loud, sharp sound of a whistle made the students jump and cringe in fear. Some of them were outright shivering in terror, as if the apocalypse itself was about to enter the room. What arrived in the room was a muscular, red-haired middle aged man who looked like someone fresh from the military.

And boy, was he the next worst thing.

"Alright, you sorry sacks of human meat! My name is Mr. Kaguya! I'm the substitute P.E instructor for today. Ms. Inamine is currently visiting his little brother's grave but that doesn't MEAN THAT YOU WILL GET **ANY MERCY FROM ME!"** the fabled and feared Mr. Kaguya, the P.E teacher of the Senior year and a retired general, introduced himself to his freshmen pupils in a stereotypical drill-sergeant voice. Gazing at his students, he narrowed his eyes over the kid next to Riku, who was the tallest member of his class.

"You! What's your name!?" he walked over to the guy, who stood still like a soldier... mostly out of fear, and asked rather loudly.

"M-my name is M-Momo..." the student shivered and replied.

Mr. Kaguya placed a hand on his student's shoulder. "Listen here kid, I don't hit my students unless they do something monumentally stupid. All I gotta tell y'all is that I will MAKE YOU ALL **INTO PHYSICALLY CAPABLE STUDENTS AND NOT A BUNCH OF SISSIES! **Understand?"

"S-Sir yes sir!" Momo yelled out of unison.

"Good answer." Mr. Kaguya headed over to... guess who? "And you short stuff! What do they call you?"

Riku just stood still, not giving an answer.

"Well, are you going to tell me your NAME OR NOT!?"

Again, Riku had no answer. Mr. Kaguya gently pressed a finger on Riku's forehead, only for the kid to fall down like an iron pipe, sounds included. All he ever responded with was a long sigh.

"Something tells me this is gonna be a long day."

**Week 1–2 3:40 P.M: Dodgeball... Just Dodgeball**

"THIS RIGHT HERE STUDENTS!" Mr. Kaguya held up a red rubber ball. "This right here is a sport from overseas! It's called Dodgeball, and a very popular sport my father once showed me! Now I will pass on my knowledge to you!"

One of the students raised a hand and asked. "S-Sir, what's dodgeball?"

"Very good question. The rules are simple! There are two of you kids on each end of the field. You gotta hit the kid in the middle with the ball and hence the name that kid MUST DODGE! It's very simple and engaging! Now, we have some spectators from the upper class who know a lot about this sport!"

Said spectators were Kaori, Kai and Saya.

"Now Miyagusuku, try not to embarass yourself in front of your older siblings, alright?" Mr. Kaguya asked.

"Y-yes sir."

"Good."

Riku walked slowly towards his place, only to tripped by someone's foot and land flat on his fragile little face like a sack of potatoes. Very pathetic potatoes. The entire class laughed at the poor little Chevalier, complete with a facepalm from Mr. Kaguya. Riku rose up and looked towards the offender, which was a tall, braced kid, who laughed along with the class.

"Grrrgh, damn." he slowly walked towards his post.

Saya sighed at this and rubbed her temples. "Poor Riku. This isn't gonna go well for him. What do you think Kaori?" she looked to her side, only to see Kaori eating popcorn.

"Popcorn?" the dark-skinned lesbian offered.

"Kaori, we're supposed to be supporting Riku!" scolded Saya.

"Oh sorry. I guess I'll throw this popcorn away then." Kaori stood up, only to be pulled back down.

"Who said I didn't want some?" Saya dug her hands into the bucket for her fair share of popcorn.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the clinic...<p>

"Hmm?" Eterna tilted his head. "Something tells me someone's about to be fatally injured."

* * *

><p>Riku was at the middle of the P.E hall, frightened and shivering constantly. In his side are his allies; the smallest and least physically able of his class. On the enemy side are all the taller, bigger and stronger kids in his class, including the same person who tripped him earlier.<p>

"Come on Riku! Get them!" cheered Kai from the back.

"I'll try!" Riku called back weakly. _'And die.'_

Immediately, the war, err... game started, and just after a few minutes, dodgeballs rained on Riku like well, rain. The poor little sissy Chevalier did his best to dodge and throw back. Unfortunately, he threw so pathetically that even a little girl would laugh at him.

The class finished and Riku passed out from all the balls in his face (Not like THAT!) and exhaustion.

"Wow. Now that was balls to the wall!" Kai cracked a really shitty pun. "Ehh? _Balls _to the wall?"

EVERYONE in the room (save for Riku) held up a dodge ball and glared at him menacingly.

"Shit."

_BLAM!_

* * *

><p>Riku slowly opened his eyes and woke up in the clinic, with Saya, a black-eyed Kai, Kaori and especially Diva, checking on him.<p>

"Ugh... a-am I in heaven?" he asked.

"No Riku. You passed out from all that action." Kaori answered, rubbing the little Chevalier's cheek.

"Yeah. You sucked _balls _out there." Kai added, adding another shitty pun.

"Don't make me shove this up your balls." Diva held up an iron boot.

"Sorry."

"Anyway, you really need to exercise Riku. Just being into your studies won't do good enough." Saya rubbed her little brother's back. "I'll ask Haji to help you out."

"Great idea. You are Saya's Chevalier. The least you can be is physically able." Kaori nodded in agreement.

"I guess you're right. Maybe I should—" Riku rose up, only to fall back to the bed again. "Gah!"

"No no no, you stay there young man." Diva gently placed him back. "You need rest after all that torture you went through."

"Anyway, we gotta get back to class. You take care of yourself, Riku." Kai ruffled Riku's hair playfully. "Hey Diva, mind taking care of him?"

"It would my pleasure." Diva smiled back and watched the three leave. After they had left, she just stared at Riku pitifully. "Oh my poor little darling Chevalier. You must be stressed out from all that physical torment." she wrapped her arms around her lover.

"Y-yeah. I just can't stand P.E class. All the other kids make fun of me because of my weakness." Riku lowered his head, leaning back on Diva's embrace.

"Mmm, I guess you need a bit of stress relief then?" offered Diva.

"Maybe. But what kind?" Riku tilted his head in curiosity.

"_This _kind." Diva licked the shell of his ear, and slid her right hand down his pants.

"A-ah! D-Diva, not here!" Riku blushed and jumped back.

"Oh don't you worry. I locked the door to make sure no one would see us." Diva unbuttoned his shirt and pants before taking off her clothes.

"D-Diva..."

* * *

><p>Later, Eterna headed back into his clinic and leaned back into his chair eating pudding, only to hear sounds of wet smacking noises and springs recoiling. He peeked through the little peephole in the door, only to find two naked bodies thrashing along the bed.<p>

"They don't pay me enough for this shit." he walked off, throwing out his pudding and leaving the room. "I am WAY too old for this!"

* * *

><p><strong>[END OF PART 1]<strong>

**Author's Note: **How'd you like it so far? It took me a bit of time and effort to write those lines, especially Kai's shitty puns and Eterna's comments. This is merely part 1, just as the above suggests. Read, review and follow at your own free will.


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